I can't believe it's been 7 whole weeks since we moved to Australia. It feels like 2. Yet also somehow manages to feel like a lifetime. About a week ago both Sonny and I had a bit of a crash as the adrenaline that had got us here finally tapped-out. After 5 weeks staying in a temporary rental we moved to a new place which we've got for a year. The minute we sat down after unpacking (again), a huge wave of exhaustion hit as the enormity of what we'd just done swept through us. We're definitely still catching our breath. Every now and then we turn to one another and whisper..."I can't believe we've done it"....."Can you believe we've done it?"....."It doesn't feel real...."
So what are the things I've discovered in my first 7 weeks in Melbourne?
2) PEOPLE: The people here are really, really nice. Yes, yes, I know it's the honeymoon period and I've yet to discover my new love's bad habits but it's been a breath of fresh air to have genuinely lovely chats with everyone from the bin men, to the supermarket staff, to the call centre people and pretty much anyone else whose path I/we cross. I would go as far as saying it's the exact opposite of the UK in that respect. One of my reasons for wanting to leave was to escape the 'computer says no' attitude and the gruff, grunting from people as you conduct your life. It's not the UK's fault. It's a fall-out of broken systems and of austerity and the struggle to get any help or support or funding or even get someone to crack a smile. Plus there's THE WEATHER. But there's also a sense that 'if our leaders aren't caring for us, then why should we care about anyone else?' I found that so sad. Perhaps it's having a child with a disability that makes you desperately crave a computer that says yes. And also kind, understanding people who are genuinely interested in what you're up to at the weekend because all that food you just bought looks bloody delicious and is making them hungry and oooooo are you making pizzas? ... (actual chat with the checkout worker yesterday.)
3) JABS: The inoculations are slightly different in the UK versus Oz, so Woody (9) has had to have some jabs before he starts school. If you're relocating from the UK with kids, you need to take their Red Book to the GPs and get their immunisation history logged. It's been a real pain to sort, but with a week until he starts school we are (hopefully) up to date. He's now got to get a Covid jab too, as it's been approved for all kids over 5 here. It feels like a privilege that we're able to get him vaccinated. I've heard the UK has only just got the stock to vaccinate vulnerable kids over 5 after months of waiting. Woody has a morbid fear of needles so it's been an interesting time coping with all the jab chat. But by the time he has all his boosters I think it might help him get a tiny bit over his fear which would be AMAZING.
4) KIDS: The kids have settled okay - ish. We actually completely underestimated the impact of the move on Essie (3) and focused more on Woody (9), thinking she'd take it all in her stride. But for the first 4 weeks neither of us could leave home without her crying and begging us to come back. She was really very anxious. She's also been very articulate about missing people. And missing her soft toys which are delayed on the boat with the rest of our stuff and won't get here until 4.5 months after she last *snuffled* them. Eek. Woody is swinging from deliriously happy -"I LOVE AUSTRALIA!" - shouted usually when he's splashing in the sea or running on the sand. But there have been many tears still and apoplectic rage that we've 'ruined his life.' But we can see that day-to-day Oz is better for him. The fact we have a bigger house that he can run in (his stim of choice to regulate is running up and down) plus being able to shout and scream into the ocean without being told to 'shush' must be heaven. He's even getting over his hatred of sandy feet. There was a time in the UK not that long ago that he begged us for a hallway to run down. He said he didn't want much, just that. It broke our hearts and made us question our Victorian terraced house in meeting his needs. Finally we can give him the hallway of his dreams. It was the first thing I noticed when we viewed the house. ('Woody! Look! THE HALLWAY!') Then there's school. We think it'll be more relaxed for him. The fact he gets to wear a T-shirt and shorts rather than a shirt and tie is a simple win. PLUS NO HOMEWORK! Amazing. I know most kids would struggle to be so uprooted. Being autistic has added an extra layer of PTS I think. Though saying that, we've all got a touch of post traumatic stress. We've been through a lot. We should acknowledge that more I think and be gentle with ourselves.
5) DRIVING: The people here might be really, really nice, but that does not translate to when they're driving. No one lets you in here. Ever. You have to literally barge your way into a lane, honking and swearing before they might nudge over a tiny bit. Even if you're about to have a head-on collision, they will stand their ground and give zero f*cks. They're like Mad Max on speed. Even the little old lady drivers. Terrifying.
6) HEALTH: So far it seems easier to attempt to be healthy in Australia. Yes the summer helps. But it's more than that. I've discovered CHEMIST WAREHOUSE *cue singing angels* (a huge, cut price pharmacy chain, for the uninitiated). It has EVERY supplement and vitamin under the sun. Especially ones for kids. In the UK I'd have to hunt through dreaded Amazon to find probiotics and vitamins that I wanted. Here there are aisles upon aisles of the stuff. I even picked up a few supplements for myself and started taking collagen powder (to help plump my travel-weary face. lol.) It's mixed with Ashwangandha which is an amazing root that helps the body deal with stress. It seems to really work! - and trust me, I've put it through its paces. If I sound like I know about all this kind of stuff, I don't. It's just easier to discover things like that here. Then there's the fact that I've finally got space to swing a yoga mat at home now, plus the huge number of people walking around in Lycra* is a reminder that health and wellbeing is literally all around us.
*This is kinda weird though. Some even wear full workout gear out to lunch. With heels. It's a pandemic of lycra. Australia must have shares in Lululemon or something.
7) HOMESICKNESS: The crushing sadness at missing my Mum and Sis hit at exactly week 5. I guess after 5 weeks your brain knows this 'aint a holiday and you're not hoping back on a plane any time soon. I've realised I get much more homesick when the weather's bad here - If it's grey or raining, I might as well be at home with my family. Ha. I've also got a heightened fear of anyone getting really sick - either back home or here. Those are the times you need your Mum. And she feels a veeeeeeeeery long way away.
8) DEATH & LIFE & THE SEA: One of the main reasons we moved was to be close to Sonny's parents. His Dad is dying and to be close to that gut-wrenching sadness has been a huge reminder that life absolutely needs to be lived. It's made me cherish the little things and made me want to inhale all the nature and beauty around me even more. Being surrounded by all that concrete in London made it very hard to connect with nature. I would say almost impossible. Even our tiny garden was astro turfed. I once painted the garden seating so it looked like a beach hut. I was clearly desperate to feel like I was living by the sea. At the moment we're about a 10-15 minute drive from the water and it feels good to be so close. It's still blows my mind that people live in cities with beaches. The sea has been an incredible leveller. We can feel so frazzled and overwhelmed one minute, then we dunk in the sea and it all gets instantly washed away. Facing the death of a loved one, and periods of hardship or struggle make you appreciate life so much more. I know people often say that, but I'm really feeling it at the moment. I'm also processing the loss of an old friend who died in the recent Tongan tsunami. She'd moved there from the UK and was living her life in the most stunning place, following her dreams. Her posts partly inspired me to bite the bullet and pack up and go. It's been so devastating, but another reminder that life is very, very precious. Filling that life with joy - in whatever form that takes should be high up on our To Do lists. It's reaffirmed that maybe I did the right thing; swallowing my fears and making the leap into the unknown. All in the quest for more joy in my life. Though ask me again the next time I'm in the playground with two squabbling kids in 37 degree heat. Not much joy going on then. Strewth.
The hallway of dreams.
Dancing with joy on Elwood beach.
(Fun fact: Woody's full name is Elwood. We visited years before we had kids and thought it would a cool name. 13 years later, here's our Elwood dancing on Elwood beach. Crazy.)
Erm, I'm not sure what she's doing, but she was happy.
Us, post 'wash-away-the-frazzle' dunk in the sea.
See, even the graffiti is nice. Lol.
Sunset on Elwood beach.